Spheres of Influence

I had an interesting conversation with one of my classmates the other day, about how he's growing to hate our Latin class more and more each day. He has a serious problem with the professor's pedagogical style; she's very blunt, in a way intended to be "funny," and she's offensive in other ways that betray that she hasn't gotten around to thinking of herself as an authority figure. For example, I observed last year that she'll often shoot down people's comments like she was competing with us somehow. And the other day she criticized the class for all of us not participating in the web chat forum. "Did you not have time to do it, or are you so devoid of thought that you don't have anything to say?" My colleague thought that was so unnecessary.

"It like she tries to be our friend, but she's not exactly that, and so she comes off like that friend who always has to be right - which is annoying."

This was very eye-opening for me. Earlier in the week one of my students tried to bond with me by telling me that she had just pledged my sorority (the sorority name is on the tote bag I always carry). I told her I was delighted to hear it, and that I would make more of an effort to get involved with the house this year. Then I read her paper, and realized it was a disaster. I had to tear it apart, because it wouldn't have been fair to everyone else to go easier on her because of this pseudo social connection. Nor, for that matter, would it have been fair to that student if I gave her a good grade this one time and she went through the rest of college turning in shitty papers because no one ever told her how to do it right.

I think she really took it personally. She came into my office hours later in the week to talk to me about her next paper, and she was super-defensive about her method, which I blasted, which I referred to as "psychologizing." She said, "I don't see what's wrong with this so-called psychologizing, because all literature is psychological..."

First of all, NOT TRUE. Only the very purposefully Freudian literature attempts to tell a story on a psychological premise alone. Second of all, even psychology as a discipline relies on certain data beside, "well of course he must have felt this way, therefore..."

So when my colleague used that analogy about the friend who always has to be right, I realized that it was a mistake to blur the spheres of influence. It's not my job to be a friend to my students, it's my job to be professional and get them to where they need to go. By that same analogy, I think it might be a mistake for me to try to become my professors' protegee by friendship; it should be sufficient to do it as a student. That's not to say that people don't try to schmooze their way to the top, because I definitely see more of that than anything. But I realized that there's just too much room for error if you go that route.

Pooped

Rookie mistake with teaching: I took the grading of the papers way too seriously and went crazy with the comments. As a result I dropped the ball on a lot of my own stuff, which is definitely not worth it. Most importantly, I stopped going to German this week, and I've probably fallen behind enough for me not to be let back in (I was auditing). Now I'm just exhausted. Presentation tomorrow that will be the last big thing before I collapse for the weekend.

Worst Joke I've Ever Heard

Courtesy of Pat Buchanan on the Daily Show, talking about his new book about how Mexican immigration is a "state of emergency":

"The Indians had a liberal immigration policy. And look what happened to them!"

I don't know if enough time will ever pass to push that subject into joke territory. It's a little like the Holocaust.

Eye Cream

I finally broke down and bought some. Back in August a Lancome representative had informed me that the aging process starts around my age, and that the eyes are one of the most prominent places where you show age. At the time I thought, Haha yeah right, nice hustle; and besides I like to think I have a bit of a baby face, which would buy me a few extra years compared to my peers...

Then I thought about it some more, and it started to prey on my fears gradually.

Then last week I had a series of events where people happened to look at my driver's license picture, taken when I was seventeen, and they would exclaim at how different I looked! I still don't really see it, ie the difference between me then and me now, but it was a rude awakening enough to get me to succumb to the Lancome woman's hustle and buy some expensive eye cream. Better now, while it's preventative, than waiting til the damage is done.

Make a Wish

This is my 777th post - though that number includes some posts that didn't get published (such as the Veejay chronicles). The universe in aligned.

All I did this weekend was sleep, and yet I'm totally sleepy.

What a Geekwad

Hi,
This is M___. I was wondering if you had any particular attachment to the reading for next Thursday, in terms of presentation. If you were just interested in the subject (love and sex) without any particular attachment to that selection, I was wondering if you would be willing to go on the second day of love and sex, the following Tuesday? There were some lines in the Thursday section that I thought would be useful for talking about Lucretius and the sublime, and I would love to do a short presentation on them if it makes no difference to you.

If it does make a difference to you I completely understand.

Thanks,
M___

Dear M___,
I'm sorry, I picked the Thursday presentation on the basis of timing, not subject matter; I have a test on the following Tuesday for another class, so I was trying to space them. If the passage you were looking at for the sublime is short enough, I could probably focus on the other parts of the reading, and save that part for your presentation. Let me know.

Yours truly,
Rex

The selection I'm looking at is short enough, although I don't have a text right in front of me to tell you which lines exactly. Do you think it would bother the prof to double up?

[Imaginary reply:]

Muthafucka, that's you're problem, and you should have cleared it with her from the beginning, instead of waiting for me to take care of it. Dumb shit, it's not my problem so stop bothering me.

[Real reply:]

Well, it's getting a little late, so I would say that unless you can get the prof's ok, and tell me what your passage is, by noon tomorrow, I have to insist that we stick with what we signed up for. I want to get cracking on this presentation.

Long Hiatus

I haven't had anthing to write for a while. Nothing much has been going on except the run of the mill school stuff...which I've been ROCKING by the way (more Greek this year, less Latin). TBS has foiled my mornings by scheduling the Megan Mullaley show at 8, and therefore moving Saved by the Bell to the 6-8 slot - meaning that I often can't get up in the morning, because 6 or 7 is too early, and Megan Mullaley is hardly a motivation at 8. Luckily, this hasn't caused me to sleep through class yet, but it does prove my thesis that TV is mentally stimulating, not mentally deadening. When I woke up in the mornings with the TV stimulaton, I somehow always had more to say later in the day.

I keep having these dreams about closed, maze-like rooms in a house. The feeling is both cosy and claustrophobic. Last night's dream room was my bedroom, and it was especially cosy. I had just finished cleaning and refurnishing it, and there were a lot of toys lying around, and I candle that I had left burning on accident, but then it burned itself out instead of burning my room down. I feel like these closed-room dreams signify something, but I haven't been able to figure out what yet. I would say that they increased in frequency since about the middle or late summer.

I Thought I Was Paranoid

"I'll be assigning each of you a randomly-generated six-digit number. You'll write this number on your tests instead of your names, and that way I won't be unduly biased when I'm grading them."

There are like 11 of us in the class.

"Not to rain on your parade, Professor, but won't you recognize our handwriting?"

"Ah, if I do I do - I'm afraid I can't help that!"

At first I thought he was completely nuts, but now that I'm revisiting the idea, it doesn't seem half-bad. Maybe I'll implement something like that for my students.

Sensitivity Training 101

"One difference between Greek religion and ours is that there's a lot of sex. I mean, in our religions you don't usually see some god coming down and banging one chick after another."

"Well, that's not to say there isn't implied eroticism..."

"Excuse me, but could we not say things like 'banging some chick'? We're all in a university here, and that sounds really offensive."

"Uh, yes, that's true...thanks for mentioning that. Let's all watch our language as we discuss these sensitive topics..."

Well played, Bikini. Narrowly dodged that bullet.

Oh Holy Fuck

The dreaded Latin exam (take 1) is done. And then I got fucked up. It's an office tradition to have a shot of old Prof. Shackleton-Bailey's Mattingly and Moore (called "mild and mellow" but really just another name for paint remover) after a major exam, prelim, defense, etc.

Lucan, Ovid, Cicero, and Seneca the Younger. The Lucan and the Seneca are totally out of left field, the items on the reading list we pray won't show up on the test. Cicero is a fair choice, but only if it's something obvious like the orations, instead of his philosophy like De Natura Deorum, which would be confusing even in English. Ovid was the only one I vaguely knew, from like a year and a half ago. It was one of the filthier passages about how the speaker rapes a woman, but it's all good because she enjoys it; brought a blush to my face as I was translating.

I think I nailed the Ovid, the Cicero was asi asi, and the Lucan and Seneca a shot in the dark. I have a chance of passing only if everyone else and their mothers also botched those passages.

"Fudge Packer" in urbandictionary.com

While reading Aristophanes, I was trying to find a good word for katapugon, which is an insult that essentially denotes the catcher. Fudgepacker was my closest estimate, because it too is used as a generic insult; but some people think it means pitcher only. So, I'm open to suggestions.

Anyways, I did find this one definition that totally cracked me up.

6. fudge packer

One of the many varying jobs of a usually underworked and underpaid Oompa Loompa. Fudgepacking is considered a very tedious job for a Oompa Loompa, involving them scurrying back and forth to pack the delicious Wonka Fudge into cardboard boxes.

Oompa Loompa 1: Goddammit, I've been assigned Fudgepacker today.
Oompa Loompa 2: What that n---- Wonka paying us anyways?
Oompa Loompa 1: He gives us cacao beans as payments remember?
Oompa Loompa 2: Well then fuck dat n----!

Pouring

It's like a solid sheet of rain outside. I'm pretty much stuck in my office, since I don't want to walk home in this weather.

Officially in the Academic Circle

I had my first day teaching in a real-life university!

"How was your first section?"
"I think it went really well. The class was so big that everyone was trying to talk, so there wasn't any of that blank silence I was afraid of."
"Well, and it was the honors section. They're competing with each other to prove themselves to you."
"Ha! They should know that even if I'm impressed, it still doesn't mean that much."

Prune Juice

I'm in need of some "well-ordered digestion," as I think they advertise it on the juice bottle.

Pants Are Good, But It's Annoying to Wear Them All the Time

Some of you may remember my stealth courtship of my German teacher last winter. I was auditing his class but I still needed a lot of help, so I took him out for beers while we did German. He was good-looking enough, but after the first beer I figured out that we were like oil and water. C'est la vie. At least I could get him to help me with German, and at the very least I could make a new friend.

So at the beginning of the semester, when my brother passed on some free football tickets to me, I asked German Teacher if he wanted to go. He was still in Germany, so he wrote an vague "sorry and looking forward to catching up again" email. Ach, whatever, I thought, if he meant it for real he'd call me; and I was already getting tired of courting this cutie with whom I knew I had nothing in common; and I thought he was probably just being polite anyways. But he did get in touch with me, much to my surprise. Yesterday I got one of those "I hope you got my last email" emails from him, which concluded with another "let me know when you want to hang out." I was pleased to learn that he actually meant it, but I was also annoyed that he didn't just say let's do this instead of leaving it up to me again. I mean, I've already made enough overtures - all of them, in fact. But I thought I'd cut him some slack - since I am the self-declared pants-wearer - and since I needed to celebrate my history test anyways, I emailed him my phone number and told him to call me if he wanted to go out that night.

He didn't get my message on time, so I didn't hear from him, but this morning I got another email saying sorry, but he's free on Sunday, or if that doesn't work, we could go out some night during the week. Enough already! I wish he'd stop his pussy-footing and just share the burden of being the man. Or, if he really wants to make this a group effort, he should just call me, or at least give me his phone number (which he didn't) so I can call him. I'm so annoyed that I haven't even responded to him yet. At this point, it would be open hostility if I blew him off, so I guess I'll have to take the bullet and plan this one date. But I don't know what tone will come out in the email, because I'm really getting bored with this email-tag game.

Congratulations Me!

I passed my Greek history exam!

However, I'm kicking myself quite severely now because I went out afterwards to celebrate, and I just saw one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, but I couldn't work up the nerve to talk to him. I was actually too nervous - that's now gorgeous he was! Next time... (It sucks not to have balls.)

Spartacus

"...tomorrow I'm showing Spartacus in class."
"Spartacus! The famous snails and oysters scene."
"What does that even mean?"
"Um...what?"
"'Do you think it is moral to eat snails? Or is it only moral to eat oysters? I eat snails and oysters.' What does that mean?"
"Uh..." - a trick question? Missing subtext? So I ventured cautiously - "I thought it was just the sexual innuendo..."
"Oh, is that what it is? I get it. I'm glad you explained it to me."

Whoa. And, whew! I thought for sure I was missing something.

Quote of the Day

"I'm just your garden-variety gay man. I have no interest in sports, especially if it involves a ball."

Where do other people spend their money?

My department just had it's awful Labor Day picnic, and the subject of abodes came up, which got around to how I was paying too much rent. While I admit it's true that I pay too much (location + space + no roommate), I was pretty mortified when my professor characterized it as "embarrassing" because it was only a little less than what she pays on her house mortgage (of course she didn't add in what she has to pay in tax, which is significant in this area). It made me feel like I was being foolish and uneconomical.

But then I got to thinking: if I'm so foolish with my money, shouldn't I be way more broke than my collegues? But such is not the case. I would even say that my money matters are in even better working order than most grad students', especially after this summer's savings from living at home and earnings from work. Most 2nd years, I gather, spend the beginning of the semester in the red, so the fact that I'm in the black alone would attest that I'm not totally clueless, like I often feel I am. Add to this the fact that I spend a good deal of dough on grooming (a real flaw, I admit), and my grocery bills are astronomical compared to what others tell me they spend.

So that leaves me wondering, how exactly does everyone else burn through their paychecks at roughly the same rate as me? Sure I have some extra cash from working, but I didn't need to dip into it last year. I'm breaking even, and since I'm told almost no one makes savings from our pittances, I'm guessing they're breaking even too. The only thing I don't spend too much money on is alcohol, and maybe eating out. But is that enough to make up for what I spend in rent and shopping? If it isn't, as I suspect, what are other people's expenses? Do they all have mistresses on the side or something?

Baking Powder

I once made chocolate chip cookies that were super puffy and held their shape well. I thought it was the regular old Nestle's recipe, but I just made that recipe again, and it didn't exactly hold its shape (although the puffiness was satisfactory enough). Now that I think of it, I seem to recall using both baking soda and baking powder; while this time I used only baking soda. So, note to self: 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon baking powder the next time I make these cookies.

Karaoke!

OMG, that was so fun. In addition to my usual #18 (= "showcase piece" = Jungle), I discovered a number of other songs that were very enjoyable to sing.

1. Welcome to the Jungle
2. On Bended Knee
3. I Love Rock n Roll
4. Addicted
5. Honky Tonk Woman

and I also sang along with Satisfaction, I Want It That Way, and Summer Nights. Satisfaction was excellent. The Backstreet Boys was nicht so gut. Addicted was my surprise favorite for the night, with a score of 99 - even though I got a 100 for Honkey Tonk Woman.

If they only had I Want You to Want Me, I would have been a 100% happy camper. And if I knew P.I.M.P. well enough, that also would have been totally cool.

Double Indemnity

This is apparently one of the hallmarks of the film noir genre, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised that Billy Wilder could do non-comedy so well; but I had no idea someone so funny could also be so dark! It was a complete 180. Well, I guess there were some wickedly comic moments. Like when the lovers dump the body and as they're leaving, the car doesn't start - good stuff. All in all, however, it was pretty unforgiving.

I also watched The Proposition tonight, because I wanted to hang out with my friend but there's nothing do to around here. I don't think I got this movie. The protagonist's motivation at the end is simply bizarre...although it starts to make a wacky kind of sense if you think about it long enough. The one thing I came away with for sure from this movie is, I would never want to go to the Australian outback. The flies (as depicted in the movie) alone would make me snap.

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