Sunday, January 31, 2010

Things I Hate

1. People who speed; it implies they think the rules don't apply to them.
2. People who use maids, or worse, who talking about wanting maids. Everyone should at least wipe their own asses when they shit.
3. Girl friends who tell me about boys, unless the story is a tragedy.
4. Boy friends who touch me anywhere except the hand or forearm, or except for hugs - don't touch my back, waist, or even the fatty part of my upper arm.

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hope Conspiracy

It was like falling in love! I saw them at Gilman on Saturday knowing nothing about them. I had heard their opening band, Touche Amore on the radio and wanted to check that band out, but as it turned out, got there too late. But what I experienced from the Hope Conspiracy blew my mind away! Like love, it can only come unexpectedly. You can try going into it armed with recommendations, but the rates of accuracy are no better than random probabilities. So when you fall in love at last, you feel wiped out, as if by a warm, tropical tidal wave.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

People sure do have different ideas about what love is; or, WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS

My ex - who was once so crazy about me that couldn't stop talking about me, even to perfect strangers; who would drop off breakfast in the mornings when I was stressed because that was the only time he could see me; who made his friends wear t-shirts that spelled out my name - this ex got over me in a quick second. We broke up in July, he started dating a girl in October, HE KNOCKED UP THIS GIRL IN DECEMBER, and they will be having a shotgun wedding in February.

I know, I'm thinking the same thing: this whole affair is shockingly classy.

This means that he proposed to every girl he dated in the last 5 years, except me. HA.

Meanwhile, I - who thought I was never as crazy about him as he was about me - fell in love slowly, and just the other day I accepted that I wouldn't be ready to date again for another 2-3 years.

It just goes to show that he was never in love with me. He couldn't have been so epically stupid if he loved me even half as much as he said he loved me, and even that I foolishly thought was more vast than the love I could have for him, or everyone. I thought the fire in me had gone down to a comfortable simmer - but it turns out, tragically for mankind, actually, that I must be the greatest lover of them all!

I know that the one time I was in love with someone - genuinely, innocently, and ferociously - it was devastating enough to last for more than 12 year. He didn't even have to love me back; he didn't even have to remember that he ever talked to me (as the case happens to be). For years and years I couldn't look at another person. And now, 12 years later, he's something like a stroke victim, and it still isn't enough to make me indifferent to him.

This is what I assume love is, and when people come to me with their loud protestations, I assume that their love looks a little like this, only stronger. How wrong I am. No one has a fucking clue what love looks like.

New Year's Resolutions

1. Be less judgmental + be nicer to people
2. No dating
3. No drinking
4. Call friends more
5. Take more pictures
6. Wear more makeup
7. Stop eating seafood?