FDA Rarely Inspects Imported Food

Despite routinely being rejected as unfit for human consumption, only 1.3 percent of imported fish, vegetables, fruit, and other foods are inspected by the Food and Drug Administration. What do you think?

"It's not so shocking when you consider that the FDA doesn't ban a lot of stuff unfit for human consumption - like cigarettes, marijuana, or Arby's.

L.A. Bans Fast Food

The Los Angeles City Council passed a one-year moratorium on new fast-food establishments opening in South Los Angeles where 30 percent of the children are obese. What do you think?

"Wait, I'm confused. I thought you got fat from fats and carbs, not the speed of your food."

Graduating Seniors Face Bleak Job Market

With the country in the grips of a deep recession, college students will be graduating in a bad job market. What do you think?

"Luckily for me, I majored in early 20th century musicology, so I'll be ready for singin' the blues."

Study: Smokers Bad For Workplace

A new study shows that smokers have a poorer-than-average work performance and call in sick more than non-smokers. What do you think?

"Don't cigarettes stunt your growth? I've definitely observed that short people are burdens at work. Except to laugh at."

Equal Opportunity Supporters Paid Less

A new study shows that men who adhere to a traditional mind-set about gender roles are paid more than men who are more egalitarian. What do you think?

"I hear there's a pretty hefty tax break for income earned from leasing your wife out as a plow mule."

Potential Employers Check Social Networking Sites

A recent survey found that one in five employers checked out job applicants on networking sites like Facebook before hiring them. What do you think?

"I'm not thrilled about Facebook, but I guess it's less embarrassing than my other online profiles: eHarmony, Megan's Law, and Monster.com."

Robert Pattinson Hit By Taxicab

Harry Potter and Twilight star Robert Pattinson was hit by a cab while trying to avoid fans in New York City. What do you think?

"What's ironic is that the cab driver was also evading pursuing women when he got hit by Robert Pattinson."

Benefits Extended To Federal Employees’ Domestic Partners

President Obama signed a memo that expanded benefits to domestic partners of federal employees, including same-sex couples. What do you think?

"Unless one of these 'benefits' includes not calling the next day, I still prefer friends with benefits."

Human Trafficking On The Rise

The global recession has led to an increase in the number of people victimized by forced labor and sex slavery. What do you think?

"If Roman history has taught us anything, the best way to end this is to have one of the slaves fight with the emperor and declare us a Republic."

Letterman Apologizes To Palin

Talk show host David Letterman apologized to Alaska governor Sarah Palin for insinuating her daughter was impregnated at a New York Yankees game. What do you think?

"If Letterman is big enough to apologize for joking about it, A-Rod should be big enough to apologize for impregnating Sarah Palin's daughter."

Vaccine Rejectors Put Kids At Risk

Though children who go unvaccinated for whooping cough are 23 times more likely to contract the illness than those who get their shots, many parents are still choosing to forgo immunization for their kids. What do you think?

"I think you'll find the numbers crunch quite differently in states where abortion is freely available."

Mountain Dew's New 'World Of Warcraft' Beverages

Mountain Dew has released World Of Warcraft–branded "game fuel" in Horde Red and Alliance Blue. What do you think?

"Unnecessary. Mountain Dew's best and easiest marketing strategy would be for WOW to designate Carbonated Pee as its fuel."

Miss California Loses Crown

Controversial Miss California Carrie Prejean lost her title for contract violations that included missing official pageant events. What do you think?

"It's important that our Miss California represent and honor American values. Highest among them is the sanctity of the union of two parties under a business contract."

FDA To Regulate Tobacco

The Senate passed a bill that would allow the Food and Drug Administration to regulate the sale of cigarettes and would prohibit the use of terms like "light" and "low tar" in packaging. What do you think?

"Wait, I thought the Surgeon General regulated tobacco since at least the 80s."

More People Committing Insurance Fraud

According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, suspicious vehicle fires are up 27 percent, staged car accidents are up 34 percent, and suspicious slip-and-fall claims are up 60 percent. What do you think?

"These numbers must be skewed by the fact that the Department of Social Services noticed a decline in documented domestic violence incidents involving arson, vehicular homicide, and battery."

'Billy Elliot' Wins 10 Tonys

With 10 awards, the musical of the film Billy Elliot dominated the 63rd Tony Awards. What do you think?

"Who says musical theater is a decaying art form now?"

Palm Pre Released

Dubbed by some as "the iPhone killer," Palm released its Sprint-exclusive touch-screen phone, the Pre on Saturday. What do you think?

"The only thing Palm could kill is my spirit, when my napoleonic boss orders me to fix all the bugs in his."

OAS Welcomes Cuba Back

The 35 member nations of the Organization of American States rescinded its 47-year suspension of Cuba from the group. What do you think?

"Cubans and Americans can finally join hands, smoke cigars, and wonder together what the hell is the Organization of American States."

Nintendo Introduces New 'Vitality Sensor'

At the Electronic Entertainment Expo, Nintendo unveiled the Wii Vitality Sensor, a device that attaches to your finger and, according to the manufacturer, promotes relaxation as it creates a visual representation of your "inner world." What do you think?

"That doesn't sound relaxing at all. It's bad enough to have my grandma walk in on me masturbating without giving her a 'visual representation' of burn victims."

The Cost Of Winning In Minnesota

The undecided Senate race between incumbent Republican Norm Coleman and challenger Al Franken has cost the two a combined $50 million dollars. What do you think?

"That's nothing compared to the gold-plated strippers the winner will buy with his public official funds."

Conan’s 'Tonight' Debut

Former Late Night host Conan O'Brien took over helming duties of the venerable Tonight Show from Jay Leno last night. What do you think?

"Taking over helming duties can sure be over-whelming! Unless they bring the Masturbating Bear."

"It'll be tough adjusting to the idea that 11:35 means giant forehead instead of giant chin."

Microsoft Launches New Search Engine

In an attempt to recapture market share lost to Google, Microsoft has announced the launch of a new search engine it calls "Bing." What do you think?

"I'm glad Google is getting competition for a more powerful search engine. I never could seem to find pictures of your mom on Google."