HOW Many Ways Am I Pissed Off?
1. I have HIVES.
2. Because my parents are off galivanting in Europe, and my brother is off galivanting to his girlfriend's, then to Alaska, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GO SEE A BAND I WANT TO HEAR lest something dangerous happens to me while I'm helpless.
3. I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW to work for an asswipe boss who won't train me, won't give me any guidelines about his expectations, and yet doesn't even give me the freedom to do my job as I see best. I'm auditioning tomorrow for a job I thought was already promised to me, and I have no idea how to pass because my boss won't talk to me himself, but sends in his secretary with whom I can't communicate. Asswipe!
4. I have HIVES.
5. Then I thought, you know what, it's all cool, I can handle this; I can suck up a lame Friday night and use that time to take a long, relaxing shower, and get a good night's sleep, and be ready for tomorrow's hell.
THIS HOUSE SUDDENLY HAS NO HOT WATER.
So I'm crying and cursing and gnashing my teeth in this icy fucking shower, and I swear to God I hate this world and everything in it. The only thing that can make this night absolutely perfect is if I crawl into my sweet bed and find a dead body in it.
6. But you know what, it's all cool, I can handle this. I'm going do this job bullshit tomorrow, and then I'll call a plumber or whatever and take care of this shower nightmare. BUT THIS MEANS THAT NO ONE - CAN EVER - TELL ME WHAT TO DO AGAIN. And since everyone else is off having such a good fucking time all around the world, I'm going to treat myself to a shortboard lesson, and some new shoes, and afterwards maybe drugs or porn.
2. Because my parents are off galivanting in Europe, and my brother is off galivanting to his girlfriend's, then to Alaska, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GO SEE A BAND I WANT TO HEAR lest something dangerous happens to me while I'm helpless.
3. I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW to work for an asswipe boss who won't train me, won't give me any guidelines about his expectations, and yet doesn't even give me the freedom to do my job as I see best. I'm auditioning tomorrow for a job I thought was already promised to me, and I have no idea how to pass because my boss won't talk to me himself, but sends in his secretary with whom I can't communicate. Asswipe!
4. I have HIVES.
5. Then I thought, you know what, it's all cool, I can handle this; I can suck up a lame Friday night and use that time to take a long, relaxing shower, and get a good night's sleep, and be ready for tomorrow's hell.
THIS HOUSE SUDDENLY HAS NO HOT WATER.
So I'm crying and cursing and gnashing my teeth in this icy fucking shower, and I swear to God I hate this world and everything in it. The only thing that can make this night absolutely perfect is if I crawl into my sweet bed and find a dead body in it.
6. But you know what, it's all cool, I can handle this. I'm going do this job bullshit tomorrow, and then I'll call a plumber or whatever and take care of this shower nightmare. BUT THIS MEANS THAT NO ONE - CAN EVER - TELL ME WHAT TO DO AGAIN. And since everyone else is off having such a good fucking time all around the world, I'm going to treat myself to a shortboard lesson, and some new shoes, and afterwards maybe drugs or porn.
posted by Rex at 1:33 AM
4 Comments:
Re #2: Don't get me started on all the frivolous things everyone else gets to do while I'm sitting in the office on a Friday night as the only fam member with a job. Time to suck it up.
As for no hot water, probably not a plumbing prob.
Whatever, you know I took a hit for you on this one, because you know as well as I do that you're already on thin ice about this romantic getaway thing, so if anything were to happen to me your ass would totally be grass.
Two can play the guilt game.
I called the utilities office last night, and the late-night clerk (I think he was high) told me I needed to call a plumber. Since I've never had the hot water turned off on me before, I'm open to any/all suggestions.
I have to say: although I very much sympathize with you, and can relate to that feeling of being outrageously pissed of, I was very entertained by this blog post, in particular the final bit about drugs or porn. I hope it's at least some consolation that people (or at least I) appreciate that your sense of humour can withstand the mood-crippling sort of irritation that you must be feeling.
I assume you didn't actually do any drugs, but did you actually reach for the porn?
Aw, thanks for noticing! I have this theory that suffering is itself humorous, which makes the comedian's work very easy.
I haven't done any of the surfing or the shoes or the drugs or the porn...yet. But like I said, I'll be damned if anyone tries to stop me.
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