Javier
Let me just say that I was thinking today's post was going to be called "Turtle Races," until that event got totally eclipsed by the absurdity that transpired afterwards. I'm talking about Javier, who was SMOKING HOT, I mean like I haven't seen in a long time - but that's not why he upstaged the turtles.
I met Javier because he was listening in as I regaled my posse with my favorite joke (the foullest thing I've ever heard). Because I met him in a joke setting, or perhaps because he was smoking hot, I assumed he had some kind of a sense of humor. It especially occurred to me that he would have a sense of humor when he basically asked me to make out with him. "Okay, well why don't I get your number..." I began; but Javier cut me off. "I don't want phone numbers or dates. You can either kiss me now or you'll miss out." "What? Aren't you afraid of diseases?" I asked, because STDs happen to be a pet conversation piece for me. "If you worry about all that, life wouldn't be worth living," he said.
I was expecting him to burst out laughing...but instead, he got up and walked away!
OMG. Even if he were dead serious about his proposal, you would think he would treat it as a joke, after failing, just to save face! We determined later that he probably went off to try his line out on several other girls. Because the fact is, there are a lot of dumb hos out there, and if he asks 10, I'm thinking 5 are bound to say yes.
It just goes to prove what I've said all along: you can't compete with a dumb ho. The dude was smoking hot, though, I'll give him that.
Anyways, back the the original topic: turtle races at Brennan's, a Thursday night regular. What great fun! The main event attracts a very particular clientele, one that can be best described as "douchebag." The host acts like Ryan Seacrest, and all the guys there come to watch girls bend over, to give you an idea. But it was different, snaps for that. And the really great thing was, I later discovered, that they also had a live band inside, that played COVERS. The best kind of party! My friends and I had ourselves a blast. I mean: SWEET CHILD O MINE. I WANT YOU TO WANT ME. Need I say more?
I met Javier because he was listening in as I regaled my posse with my favorite joke (the foullest thing I've ever heard). Because I met him in a joke setting, or perhaps because he was smoking hot, I assumed he had some kind of a sense of humor. It especially occurred to me that he would have a sense of humor when he basically asked me to make out with him. "Okay, well why don't I get your number..." I began; but Javier cut me off. "I don't want phone numbers or dates. You can either kiss me now or you'll miss out." "What? Aren't you afraid of diseases?" I asked, because STDs happen to be a pet conversation piece for me. "If you worry about all that, life wouldn't be worth living," he said.
I was expecting him to burst out laughing...but instead, he got up and walked away!
OMG. Even if he were dead serious about his proposal, you would think he would treat it as a joke, after failing, just to save face! We determined later that he probably went off to try his line out on several other girls. Because the fact is, there are a lot of dumb hos out there, and if he asks 10, I'm thinking 5 are bound to say yes.
It just goes to prove what I've said all along: you can't compete with a dumb ho. The dude was smoking hot, though, I'll give him that.
Anyways, back the the original topic: turtle races at Brennan's, a Thursday night regular. What great fun! The main event attracts a very particular clientele, one that can be best described as "douchebag." The host acts like Ryan Seacrest, and all the guys there come to watch girls bend over, to give you an idea. But it was different, snaps for that. And the really great thing was, I later discovered, that they also had a live band inside, that played COVERS. The best kind of party! My friends and I had ourselves a blast. I mean: SWEET CHILD O MINE. I WANT YOU TO WANT ME. Need I say more?
posted by Rex at 2:50 AM
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