Don't Be Such a Goddamn Moron

"Aw man. I didn't sleep last night AT ALL."
"Why not?"
"It was my girlfriend's birthday. Her 21st."
...
"Okay everyone, let's start. You all knew that we're done with Book 1 now, and we're starting Book 2 today, right?"
"Uh, actually, I think I read the, uh, wrong passage. I did what was on the syllabus and didn't get to Book 2."

Commentary:
1. Don't announce to the whole class that you got lucky last night. That's just plain tacky; and if you're fat, also gross.
2. Could you maybe at least try to make it less than PATENTLY obvious that you didn't do the homework? DON'T announce to everyone that you stayed up all night entertaining your girlfriend, and then try to convince us that sometime in the wee hours of whatever you mustered up the presence of mind to translate Plato, instead of say, sleeping. What a fucking dweeb.
3. According to the syllabus, we were supposed to do today's assignment LAST MONDAY. The class is in fact behind, and we stayed on Book 1 an extra day only because we voted to.