Prostitution
A friend of mine likes to read personals, for shits and giggles. Some of the more interesting ones offer to "adopt" a student from my school or give them free housing in return for companionship. This potentially above-board offer is then qualified by things like, "You: female, friendly, cute; Me: male, wealthy," and extraneous things like, "Can't invest in a romantic relationship," thereby obliterating any hope of legitamacy.
My friend and I got curious about these postings, mostly because they were full of such bullshit phrases like "mutually beneficial arrangement" and "intimate friendship." We set up a phony email account and asked two posters just what they meant by these phrases, and what specifically would be the responsibilities and benefits. According to our description, we were currently a college junior (nubile, smart); back in high school, junior prom princess (cute) and the senior class' "Most Likely to Succeed" (smart, personable); aficionada of yoga and pilates (not fat), cooking (obviously), and knitting scarves for the homeless (nice); a non-smoker and non-druggie who still liked to party (healthy, fun); and finally, working an unpaid internship over the summer (has reason to lead a life of sin).
I forgot to mention that one of the johns likes to get really detailed about this non-relationship; his personal ad was a veritable essay. His response to our email was likewise detailed: he wanted his "arrangement associate" (no joke! this is how he actually referred to us - as opposed to the more natural-sounding "hooker," I suppose) to meet up with him in a private, intimate setting a few times a week. And here's the kicker: he actually threw out a number, in the form of $1200 a month.
My friends and I sat around dinner tonight doing the math. We figured he was thinking something like three times a week, each date lasting for say five hours. That comes out to...drum roll...$20 an hour!
Honestly, the nerve! A girl with no education can make that much babysitting! We were rolling on the floor laughing.
Shits and giggles aside, though, I find all this terribly scary and depressing. A part of me wants to close the door on this world of sin and squalor I've peeped into. But then another part of me is fascinated by just how much room this patsy is giving us to fuck around with his head. My first suggestion was to tell him that we recently got fat, just to see his reaction. But our discussion at dinner yielded a much more promising prank: "Please see what's out there and come back with a reasonable offer."
I hope this patsy-john doesn't read my blog. That would ruin everything.
My friend and I got curious about these postings, mostly because they were full of such bullshit phrases like "mutually beneficial arrangement" and "intimate friendship." We set up a phony email account and asked two posters just what they meant by these phrases, and what specifically would be the responsibilities and benefits. According to our description, we were currently a college junior (nubile, smart); back in high school, junior prom princess (cute) and the senior class' "Most Likely to Succeed" (smart, personable); aficionada of yoga and pilates (not fat), cooking (obviously), and knitting scarves for the homeless (nice); a non-smoker and non-druggie who still liked to party (healthy, fun); and finally, working an unpaid internship over the summer (has reason to lead a life of sin).
I forgot to mention that one of the johns likes to get really detailed about this non-relationship; his personal ad was a veritable essay. His response to our email was likewise detailed: he wanted his "arrangement associate" (no joke! this is how he actually referred to us - as opposed to the more natural-sounding "hooker," I suppose) to meet up with him in a private, intimate setting a few times a week. And here's the kicker: he actually threw out a number, in the form of $1200 a month.
My friends and I sat around dinner tonight doing the math. We figured he was thinking something like three times a week, each date lasting for say five hours. That comes out to...drum roll...$20 an hour!
Honestly, the nerve! A girl with no education can make that much babysitting! We were rolling on the floor laughing.
Shits and giggles aside, though, I find all this terribly scary and depressing. A part of me wants to close the door on this world of sin and squalor I've peeped into. But then another part of me is fascinated by just how much room this patsy is giving us to fuck around with his head. My first suggestion was to tell him that we recently got fat, just to see his reaction. But our discussion at dinner yielded a much more promising prank: "Please see what's out there and come back with a reasonable offer."
I hope this patsy-john doesn't read my blog. That would ruin everything.
posted by Rex at 10:52 PM
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