Law and Order, SVU
I don't have anything new of interest to report - pity my distraction! - so I'll relate last Thursday's rerun of Law and Order, SVU, which sounded absolutely ridiculous when I started describing it to a friend, and I realized then that it was actually pretty funny.
(Aside - After missing three weeks of the OC, I got all pumped up last week to laugh again over the antics of Julie Cooper, who I hear was in a homemade porno. Bitches at FOX cancelled it and premiered Tru Calling instead, bitches.)
1. The crew discovers video of a 12-year-old boy being raped.
2. The rapist turns out to be the boy's hot principle, who has a squeaky clean record, like Peace Corp and stuff.
3. During the "bad cop" interrogation, the hot principle busts a move on the cop. He pushes her and she falls into a seizure.
4. The doctors find a tumor in her brain and remove it.
5. The surgeon suggests that the tumor might have clouded her judgment to make her a pedophile. The cop says, "But she knew that what she was doing was wrong." "That wouldn't necessarily matter. You see, the morality part of the brain is over here. The impulse-control part is here, where we found the tumor."
6. Is this a freak occurrence? Far from it. One of the cops says, "Hey I remember a case last year where a child molester, a straight-edge family man, had a similar tumor. He was cured after the tumor was removed, so they let him go." "The criminal element was gone?" "No. A year later, he was back on the streets molesting children." "So it wasn't the tumor, after all?" "No. The tumor had grown back."
7. At this point, the psychologist, the token Asian guy, says some obvious things like, "The experience was more traumatic for the victim than he realizes. It will take a long time before he gets over it."
8. The victim, it turns out, has fallen in love with his rapist. The psychologist says that this is prime fodder for him to grow up to become a pedophile himself. "How do we stop it, doctor?" "There's only one way: get our scientists to isolate that part of the brain that makes child-molesters."
9. Fin.
(Aside - After missing three weeks of the OC, I got all pumped up last week to laugh again over the antics of Julie Cooper, who I hear was in a homemade porno. Bitches at FOX cancelled it and premiered Tru Calling instead, bitches.)
1. The crew discovers video of a 12-year-old boy being raped.
2. The rapist turns out to be the boy's hot principle, who has a squeaky clean record, like Peace Corp and stuff.
3. During the "bad cop" interrogation, the hot principle busts a move on the cop. He pushes her and she falls into a seizure.
4. The doctors find a tumor in her brain and remove it.
5. The surgeon suggests that the tumor might have clouded her judgment to make her a pedophile. The cop says, "But she knew that what she was doing was wrong." "That wouldn't necessarily matter. You see, the morality part of the brain is over here. The impulse-control part is here, where we found the tumor."
6. Is this a freak occurrence? Far from it. One of the cops says, "Hey I remember a case last year where a child molester, a straight-edge family man, had a similar tumor. He was cured after the tumor was removed, so they let him go." "The criminal element was gone?" "No. A year later, he was back on the streets molesting children." "So it wasn't the tumor, after all?" "No. The tumor had grown back."
7. At this point, the psychologist, the token Asian guy, says some obvious things like, "The experience was more traumatic for the victim than he realizes. It will take a long time before he gets over it."
8. The victim, it turns out, has fallen in love with his rapist. The psychologist says that this is prime fodder for him to grow up to become a pedophile himself. "How do we stop it, doctor?" "There's only one way: get our scientists to isolate that part of the brain that makes child-molesters."
9. Fin.
posted by Rex at 10:14 PM
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