The Saddle Ranch, Sunset
Wild weekend. Two-dollar happy hour (menu includes big beefy cheeseburgers and fries; at McCormick and Schmick's), hot tubbing + new batch of jokes (bonus!), beach + chicken fight (my team won 2/2 rounds), and...Saddle Ranch!
What makes the Saddle Ranch so exciting? Well, the mechanical bull would be a given. Besides that, there more beautiful women than you could squeeze through - including three or four bachelorette parties - great company, and the SEXIEST goddamn waitstaff I ever did see. Hold up, one might ask, why would you want there to be scads and scads of beautiful women? Well, I feel that it creates a very healthy party environment - an illusion that everyone is having fun, and, in theory, a magnet for equally attractive men; and most importantly, people like me get left the hell alone, except when it's invited and welcome attention.
My heart got a little crack when I saw the guy who was operating the mechanical bull. He was blond and sculpted and hunky, and looked so much like my Swedish boyfriend last summer that it hurt; except perhaps better-looking, because he had the American dental work; but I'm sure he wasn't half as decent and thoughtful as my bf was, because no one can be. Then I thought I should ask this old flame to move to the US to be with me...until I remembered that a year in this country would probably turn him into an asshole just like the rest of them.
* * *
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with the runs?
One of them shucks between fits.
What makes the Saddle Ranch so exciting? Well, the mechanical bull would be a given. Besides that, there more beautiful women than you could squeeze through - including three or four bachelorette parties - great company, and the SEXIEST goddamn waitstaff I ever did see. Hold up, one might ask, why would you want there to be scads and scads of beautiful women? Well, I feel that it creates a very healthy party environment - an illusion that everyone is having fun, and, in theory, a magnet for equally attractive men; and most importantly, people like me get left the hell alone, except when it's invited and welcome attention.
My heart got a little crack when I saw the guy who was operating the mechanical bull. He was blond and sculpted and hunky, and looked so much like my Swedish boyfriend last summer that it hurt; except perhaps better-looking, because he had the American dental work; but I'm sure he wasn't half as decent and thoughtful as my bf was, because no one can be. Then I thought I should ask this old flame to move to the US to be with me...until I remembered that a year in this country would probably turn him into an asshole just like the rest of them.
* * *
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with the runs?
One of them shucks between fits.
posted by Rex at 7:38 PM
1 Comments:
LA was amazing!! The weekend was the cherry on top of a fabulous summer. I miss you sooo much already! Call me, often.
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