Hoist by My Own Petard
I guess I accomplished my goals: I broke up a relationship. I don't know how much I can take credit for it, since the gf was actually the one who dumped Sleazy Guy, but it's giving me an interesting window into what role I would play if I were the homewrecker.
I probably should have seen it coming, though I didn't because I honestly never thought a rational person would go nuts for someone they've known for 2 weeks. In short, Sleazy Guy had a total meltdown. Suddenly I was the confidant. At the time I was irritated as all hell and asked him to spare me the details about the relationship. But in a more leisurely moment I reflected that maybe I was abdicating one of my essential duties at an inevitable stage in man-snatching. Maybe what was supposed to happen is that I was supposed to be his emotional support, show him how tender and caring and dependable I was in his time of crisis, how much better I was than the other - as a friend and maybe as something more - and then get him so dependent on me that love would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
I DID NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE. I don't know how these girlfriend-types put up with the self-absorption of these transitional men. I mean, people get dumped, you grieve for it, you review for any lessons you might want to take from it, and then you move on. It's not a big deal. Your friends, the most they can do is take you out for ice cream, and if they really want to be depressing, a "night out on the town." But it's not like they can say or do anything that will negate the fact that you've been dumped.
And given my history with this guy - our mutually expressed attraction - I felt it was especially presumptuous for him to wax nostalgic about the sweetest moments he shared with his newly minted ex.
It's possible that I blew the whole experiment by dropping the ball after all the bases were loaded, to mix my metaphors. But I have to think there's an easier, less noxious, way to steal a man. If there isn't, perhaps it serves me right for wasting my time with all this stupid, morally dubious scheming. Oh well, I still think it was a useful way to pass the time while I was bored out of my mind, these last few weeks of the summer.
I probably should have seen it coming, though I didn't because I honestly never thought a rational person would go nuts for someone they've known for 2 weeks. In short, Sleazy Guy had a total meltdown. Suddenly I was the confidant. At the time I was irritated as all hell and asked him to spare me the details about the relationship. But in a more leisurely moment I reflected that maybe I was abdicating one of my essential duties at an inevitable stage in man-snatching. Maybe what was supposed to happen is that I was supposed to be his emotional support, show him how tender and caring and dependable I was in his time of crisis, how much better I was than the other - as a friend and maybe as something more - and then get him so dependent on me that love would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
I DID NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE. I don't know how these girlfriend-types put up with the self-absorption of these transitional men. I mean, people get dumped, you grieve for it, you review for any lessons you might want to take from it, and then you move on. It's not a big deal. Your friends, the most they can do is take you out for ice cream, and if they really want to be depressing, a "night out on the town." But it's not like they can say or do anything that will negate the fact that you've been dumped.
And given my history with this guy - our mutually expressed attraction - I felt it was especially presumptuous for him to wax nostalgic about the sweetest moments he shared with his newly minted ex.
It's possible that I blew the whole experiment by dropping the ball after all the bases were loaded, to mix my metaphors. But I have to think there's an easier, less noxious, way to steal a man. If there isn't, perhaps it serves me right for wasting my time with all this stupid, morally dubious scheming. Oh well, I still think it was a useful way to pass the time while I was bored out of my mind, these last few weeks of the summer.
posted by Rex at 9:23 PM
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