Due for a Change

Being at home is starting to wear on me. I feel very much alone, and I'm convinced it won't be easy to find fun again. I've fallen outside all networks. If I were to build things up again, I have a hunch I wouldn't even know where to start. I was aware, even when I was trying to build my circle, that the payoff was more long-term sustainability, because it never seemed worthwhile in the moment to put so much effort in seeing friends. The payoff was inevitably mediocre. But here I am now. Everything is in shambles, perhaps beyond repair.