"You are as funny as you are relevant"

What a pithy insult, and surprisingly handy. It was coined by Lisa Lampanelli during the Flavor Flav Roast on Comedy Central, in reference to Bridgitte Nielsen's most unfunny stand-up bit. Now every time I hear Kevin and Bean's morning show, I think of it, along with, "Who the hell listens to this??" Their topics are sub-mental, their personalities are those of dorks and losers, and worst of all, they're so self-righteous about it: "All you buttwads who get offended with our jokes about gays and blind people are ruining are show, because you're making us take out everything funny!" Ha, beg to differ. Then for a while I thought there might still be some value because they occasionally still play music in the mornings. But while their taste might have been relevant 15 years ago, such is no longer the case. Kevin and Bean, in their infinite coolness, play only stuff like Nirvana and Bush; or, when they take that rare venture into the 21st century, has-been supergroups like Audioslave, or else completely stinky irrelevant bands like Incubus.

So you think, maybe they're starting to target an older group, ie my age, ie the people who were listening to Kevin and Bean 15 years ago when they might have been cool. But that doesn't seem to be the case - take me, for instance. Plus, all the callers seem to be kids, and the stuff they promote, like breakfast with My Chemical Romance, are stuff that only kids would enjoy and/or be able to participate in. So who the hell are these kids who consent to to all the other dorkfest-irrelevant crap that Kevin and Bean dump onto the air?

Ryan Seacrest is even worse, as unbelievable as that is. But at least his problems are only his personality; the music he plays is at least relevant, even if not quality, and there's some value to his celebrity "news," unlike the buttplug self-indulgent meaningless junk Kevin and Bean report.

Big Boi is the opposite: the content is as fluffy as Kevin and Bean, but at least he's funny. They need to get more than 3 songs on the turntable, though.

NPR - all this leads inevitably to the fact that NPR is simply a godsend.