Trapped in the Closet

I've been hearing so much hype about this that I finally started watching the episodes on ifc.com...and HOLY SHIT! this stuff is gold! I never knew R. Kelly - the mind who brought us "I Believe I Can Fly" - had so much camp in him. Today's NY Times article (the one that finally made me capitulate) quotes one enthusiast saying: “You can’t tell if he is a genius or a guy who just saw the definition for cliffhanger in the dictionary yesterday and decided to run with it." That pretty much captures it.

So far I've gone through 8 episodes, but episode 4 made it especially hard for me to keep my work composure while I was watching:

And then I turned my radio on and did 55 all the way home

...

I said, I love you, she said, I love you too
Then a tear fell out my eye, then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me, and said, Baby go deeper please
And that's when I started going crazy
Like I was trying to give her a baby
The room felt like it spinning
Cuz we keep turning and turning
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes all curl in
Then next thing you know she start going real wild and screaming my name
And then I said, Baby you must know now before I bust a vessel in my brain
She said, Please no don't stop!
I said, I caught a cramp!
She said, Please keep on going
I said, My leg is about to crack!
Then she cries out, Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I say, Cool, climax, just let go of my leg!
She says, You're the perfect lover
I said, I can't go no further
Then I flipped back the cover
Oh my God a rubber!