Dreams

about babies are uniformly bad. They portend toils and hardships and tragedies. Perhaps it is because of my looming comprehensive Greek exam that I've had dreams about babies these past two nights. On the one hand, I hope that's what it portends, and nothing worse. On the other hand, I hope those babies do NOT refer to my exam, and that I will indeed pass my exam and be able to graduate.

God, this is not good. In one dream, I was in a plane that crashed into the ocean, and I was trying to save children from drowning. In the other dream, I had two babies in my lap and they were crying and I was trying to quiet them.

I also had a dream last night that a young Janet Jackson was being commissioned to choreograph a dance number. When she went in to audition it, the person evaluating her turned out to be...Janet Jackson. An older Janet Jackson.

I also had a dream the night before that Pamela Anderson turned out to be the MOM of Brett Michaels. Wait, we would say, didn't you used to DATE Brett Michaels? No, she said, I dated a guy who looked exactly like Brett Michaels because he was Brett Michaels' dad.

What?

I don't know what the deal is with this scandal-mongering celebrity dreams.