Words To Live By

Last night I found myself repeating advice whose depth I'm still trying to grasp:

"Never trust a man who's never crapped his pants."

Clarification: pant-pissing counts in the general category of "soiling oneself" but sharting (or "broth," as Que-ni would say) doesn't count, on account of being too common.

Anyways, one of my friends was regaling us with horror stories about his study abroad in Mexico, where he had to share a room with a notorious pant-crapper. "Now hold up," I interrupted, "I hear a lot of people do it, so let's not judge." Then our friend told us that this roommate used to eat a breakfast smoothie every morning blended from taco meat, bananas, mangos, and whatever leftovers, so that any incontinence was really self-inflicted. "I still can't judge yet," I said. I'm waiting to collect my own evidence - amazingly, not a lot of people want to discuss crapping their pants - but until then, I have tremendous trust in the people who passed this maxim down to me.

FYI, I've been guilty of pissing myself (and not even drunk! just small bladder), and of the broth, though not of crapping myself...yet. And I think I've very trustworthy. There may be something to this theory.