Crazy Saturday
I fell asleep early last night, accidentally, around 10pm. Naturally, by the time 4:30 rolled around, I had to wake up. It's nice to see the morning from this end. Though it's disturbing how I'm constitutionally wired to be awake at that most absurd of hours.
The weather has been beautiful this week, though a little suffocating, and I find myself homesick as I'm reminded that there is more to life than reading a language you don't understand until your eyes cross. Speaking of languages I don't understand, I've spent the whole morning reading a German book that my professor said I would need for my seminar paper. When the suggestion first came up, I laughed and laughed and laughed, and then I cried - I don't actually know German! I'm making fair progess; I just need to understand enough to recognize which passages will be useful to me. Still, it's a BOOK...in real German.
Today should be a fun day, and I'll see lots of people, and forget for a moment how piercingly lonely existence is for the modern man. It shouldn't be so hard. When I'm at home, I hardly have any fun, and no freedom at all, and I'm often bored and frustrated, but I never feel lost; and such was the trade-off, moving from primitive societies to modernity. We lost the old communal structure for personal freedom, and the price is that we have to work constantly to hold it all together and prevent menaing from spiraling out into oblivion.
Perhaps it's the case that within the family structure, other people (mom, dad) have always done this labor part for me. I was always so busy resenting their crazy rules that I never really appreciated how essential, and exhausting, the task is, however misguided the execution.
The weather has been beautiful this week, though a little suffocating, and I find myself homesick as I'm reminded that there is more to life than reading a language you don't understand until your eyes cross. Speaking of languages I don't understand, I've spent the whole morning reading a German book that my professor said I would need for my seminar paper. When the suggestion first came up, I laughed and laughed and laughed, and then I cried - I don't actually know German! I'm making fair progess; I just need to understand enough to recognize which passages will be useful to me. Still, it's a BOOK...in real German.
Today should be a fun day, and I'll see lots of people, and forget for a moment how piercingly lonely existence is for the modern man. It shouldn't be so hard. When I'm at home, I hardly have any fun, and no freedom at all, and I'm often bored and frustrated, but I never feel lost; and such was the trade-off, moving from primitive societies to modernity. We lost the old communal structure for personal freedom, and the price is that we have to work constantly to hold it all together and prevent menaing from spiraling out into oblivion.
Perhaps it's the case that within the family structure, other people (mom, dad) have always done this labor part for me. I was always so busy resenting their crazy rules that I never really appreciated how essential, and exhausting, the task is, however misguided the execution.
posted by Rex at 5:23 AM
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