Tuesday, February 15, 2005

She Is Beautiful

I ain't got nothing to lose
Nothing to lose
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
She looks good
And it's true
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful

There's one thing you may not have known about me, and it's this: I have an attention span like you wouldn't believe. Either that, or OCD. I'm perfectly capable of listening to the same five-minute song over and over again, for five hours straight (or longer), completely rapt the whole time. It comes in handy every now and then, like when I have to translate Greek for hours on end.

The latest victim to my compulsive listening is Andrew WK's "She Is Beautiful." Nevermind that like 90% of the song is "she is beautiful" and "na na na na na na na na." There was one line in particular that suddenly became meaningful to me on this Valentine's Day: "I ain't got nothing to lose...going to throw it away and talk to you." There's an odd parallel between this narrative and the story of Miles the Dog. It didn't matter to Miles that the people he loved were bastards who didn't have better sense than to let their dog get that fat. All he cared about was that he loved them, and he was willing strain his gimpy leg and fall down stairs, just to be with them.

Like Andrew WK, Miles decided that he had "nothing to lose." And that's what love is! Love isn't about relationships and holding onto that bitterness when they abuse you or neglect to put you on a diet. Throw it away! Go for it, just because the feeling of love is so wonderful in itself, wonderful enough to carry you through kamikaze desires and staircase catastrophes.

I was thinking tonight about that boy I once loved who later drove me to the most violent anger. I remembered how I felt about him before the shit hit the fan, before I was struggling to dance the tango of seduction or juggle the practical logistics of a relationship. And the basic point is that I felt truly happy. It's easy to forget just how rare that feeling is, until you start to search for it.

So when we do find someone who makes us feel warm and fluid and excited like that, the first thing we should do is feel thankful. It's a rare and beautiful accomplishment, and a gift to us, the lover. Afterwards, there's always time to key their cars or break their kneecaps. But first, let's appreciate that being able to love beats just about everything - including being loved.

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