Am I Wrong?
I was hanging out with some locals tonight. One person was talking about how a certain fraternity got kicked off some campus because "they hazed this black guy." The storyteller happened to be someone who had previously told a very bad racist joke, and evidenced some stiff homophobia several times. So I had to say something:
"Look, can you tone down that racial rheteric a little? I'm starting to get offended."
Suddenly I was bombarded with, "How is that racial?" and, "What? The guy was black." It numbs my mind that these people could even THINK that this was a quibble about was he or wasn't he black! I mumbled something about how the guy's color didn't contribute anything to the story, and then I got kind of confused, and started feeling bad for crashing this party and denouncing its members, so I shut up.
But then I got home and thought, I wasn't wrong was I? Was I overreacting (due to my intense irritation at having a curfew)? Or was it true that this cavalier attitude toward race and its objectification was itself offensive? I know I've been guilty myself of casual racial language sometimes, but I feel that the crucial difference is this: I KNOW where the line of offense lies, and I try to steer around it. For example, I would never make a blanket statement about, say, Asian people unless I were addressing some Asian people, or unless I had some very good Asian friends in the room.
This may sound like a counterintuitive thing to do, but it's one of those things that (IMO) show a degree of sensitivity, which after all is the important part. I once had a conversation with Marcus F about whether it's okay to get displeased at someone for using incorrect nomenclature (like Hispanic instead of Latino, or colored instead of black), when this person has the best intentions, but simply does not know. Marcus agreed that it's a tough call, but then added: "But part of the offense is the fact that they AREN'T aware."
In the end, it was in bad taste for me to denounce a guest at someone else's party, and I should have shown more respect toward my host. Nevertheless, it was a moment when I was overwhelmingly aware of how conservative this area is, and how different I've grown from the people here. It was a mistake for me to put myself in a situation where I lacked this important political sympathy with my company; I should either choose not to get offended, or if I am offended and must say something, I should be ready to engage in a calm and clearly supported debate (and risk never getting invited to another party).
But I need you all, my friends, to tell me this: was I wrong in feeling offended?
"Look, can you tone down that racial rheteric a little? I'm starting to get offended."
Suddenly I was bombarded with, "How is that racial?" and, "What? The guy was black." It numbs my mind that these people could even THINK that this was a quibble about was he or wasn't he black! I mumbled something about how the guy's color didn't contribute anything to the story, and then I got kind of confused, and started feeling bad for crashing this party and denouncing its members, so I shut up.
But then I got home and thought, I wasn't wrong was I? Was I overreacting (due to my intense irritation at having a curfew)? Or was it true that this cavalier attitude toward race and its objectification was itself offensive? I know I've been guilty myself of casual racial language sometimes, but I feel that the crucial difference is this: I KNOW where the line of offense lies, and I try to steer around it. For example, I would never make a blanket statement about, say, Asian people unless I were addressing some Asian people, or unless I had some very good Asian friends in the room.
This may sound like a counterintuitive thing to do, but it's one of those things that (IMO) show a degree of sensitivity, which after all is the important part. I once had a conversation with Marcus F about whether it's okay to get displeased at someone for using incorrect nomenclature (like Hispanic instead of Latino, or colored instead of black), when this person has the best intentions, but simply does not know. Marcus agreed that it's a tough call, but then added: "But part of the offense is the fact that they AREN'T aware."
In the end, it was in bad taste for me to denounce a guest at someone else's party, and I should have shown more respect toward my host. Nevertheless, it was a moment when I was overwhelmingly aware of how conservative this area is, and how different I've grown from the people here. It was a mistake for me to put myself in a situation where I lacked this important political sympathy with my company; I should either choose not to get offended, or if I am offended and must say something, I should be ready to engage in a calm and clearly supported debate (and risk never getting invited to another party).
But I need you all, my friends, to tell me this: was I wrong in feeling offended?
posted by Rex at 1:51 AM
5 Comments:
No, I don't think you were wrong to get offended. I'd agree that the race of the guy who was being hazed had nothing to do with anything; therefore, the added detail was probably judgemental in some way or another, whether he was conscious of it or not.
By the way, I personally don't think there's anything more "correct" about Latino than Hispanic... maybe my opinion doesn't count, though, since I'm only marginally a part of that demographic (and never "officially" so, according to legal shit I fill out). But my dad (as you know, a bona-fide South American) claims one is no more right than the other.
But, back to the matter at hand: this guy at the party sounds like a turd, so, no need to second-guess yourself.
Hm, that's a tough one. I always thought that I was racially sensitive and not racist being a minority myself.. until.. one day my sophomore year I was explaining to a friend that as a kid people described me as having "chinky" eyes. She retorted, "chinky as in chink?" At first I was confused but the word sounded vaguely like something another student once mentioned was derogatory towards Asian people. And then I thought oh! Well it's not my fault. I grew up mostly around blacks and hispanics. I knew "nigger" and "spic" were bad words but Asian slurs...(blank) I apologized for sounding ignorant and pointed out that a current rap song was my alibi to my total ignorance. There was a rap song that referred to eyes as "chinky" not to be derogatory, but most black people growing up in less diverse areas simply don't know the nuances of many cultures. So I thought to myself, wouldn't I have been offended if some person from the deep south said something equivalent to my comment, like "Oh yeah I have a nigger nose" Hell yeah! I finally came to the conclusion that I would be offended at first but if the person didn't actually harbor any racist beliefs and actually tried to reduce their ignorance in general, I would eventually let it go...
but to answer you question, no you weren't in the wrong to be offended. i'm actually glad you said something :) everyone on the west coast seems to be so hush-hush about airing grivences.. not like the east coast baby! where if someone's got something to say, they'll say it! I don't know if Michingan-ites are anything like this, but hey, its always good to express yourself.
Catherine Ryan wrote: "And I was worried about the whole Latino/Hispanic thing after I read your blog, because I didn't know Hispanic was offensive."
Against, as a quasi-Hispanic myself, I can say that, as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing improper about the word "Hispanic." In fact, it's really more accurate than "Latino", when you think about it... "Latin" refers really to the language of the Roman empire, and to that part of the word in general. In fact, even in Dante, you can see the word "Latino" to mean "Italian". I suspect that "Hispanic" is considered poltiically incorrect by some tiny percentage of pundits because it refers to Spain, and any mention of the linkage between Spain and Latin America (you kind of have to call it "Latin America" still, because there isn't really any other way to say it) is apparently touchy. But last time I checked, the Spanish language is still alive and kicking in every country south of the United States except Brazil and French Guyana, so as long as that is the case, "Hispanic" will continue to be more accurate and relevant a word than, in my judgement, "Latino".
In short: the only people who actually consider "Hispanic" to be an offensive word are probably out looking to be offended so they can up their "victomhood cred". Seriously, with all the ACTUAL racism and bigotry out there, it seems absurd to me to expend any effort whatsoever condemning a semantically sound and completely unproblematic descriptor like "Hispanic".
I was told that Hispanic means "one from Hispanola." The census, however - the one that Nixon established - still retains Hispanic. But then, it's Nixon...
Thanks for all your feedback, friends. There's nothing like hearing your own opinions repeated back to you. Of course, this time, we all happen to be right :-)
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